Meet the Big Giant Head
by Teri
Summary: Off the Record, Jack tells Hank about one of the oddest first contacts SG1 ever had. Crossover with the Third Rock from the Sun


**Off the Record Series:**

**Meet the Big Giant Head  
**_A Stargate / Third Rock from the Sun Crossover  
_By Teri

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Summary: Jack tells Hank about one of the oddest first contacts SG-1 ever had.

Setting: The introduction is sometime in season 9 or 10, but the primary part of the story is set sometime when Jack was a Colonel, Sam was still a Major, and Daniel has descended.

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General Landry sat down with the series of file folders Jack had left him. Some of these missions were familiar to him because of his and Jack's bi-weekly chess matches that always came with quite a story. Some of the things Jack had told him. . . . Hank had to cancel their match this week because of the latest foothold situation, but now that was cleared up he wanted to sit down and read the file Jack had sent him to make up for the missed story. 

_The one thing he had learned fast at the SGC was that you never know what was on the next planet and every file, particularly the ones Jack singled out, were always well worth the time. _

_He settled in to read this one as he noticed Jack's hand writing scrawled across the top of the report, "the Big Giant Head". Definitely looked like one of "those" missions._

Jack and the rest of SG-1 were standing on the base of the ramp preparing to go on the next mission.

"There didn't appear to be any signs of life based on the MALP readings. This should be a simple survey mission," Carter reiterated from the briefing, figuring it never hurt for the Colonel to have information repeated to him in case he hadn't been listening the first time around.

"Right," the Colonel answered, "simple like all are missions are, eh, Carter?"

"Sam, did you just say that?" Daniel asked, "that this mission would be simple? You know it isn't a good idea to jinx it like that."

"Daniel's right, we had better get SG-3 to go with us for this one. Who knows what could happen," Jack added after catching Daniel's eye.

"Maybe we should even cancel this mission," Daniel suggested. "Too many things could go wrong."

"Indeed," Teal'c smirked.

Carter just prevented herself from laughing. The banter between the Colonel and Daniel still wasn't at its full standards, but it had improved a lot since Daniel initially descended and that was the important thing for her.

"SG-1, YOU HAVE A GO!" The speakers in the embarkation room vibrated with the message from General Hammond.

"Okay, campers," Jack moved forward through the gate followed by Daniel and Sam with Teal'c taking up the rear.

As they exited the other side of the wormhole on PX5-789 the first thing they noticed was that the scenery did not match the telemetry or visuals brought back by the MALP. This place was nearly beyond description. The atmosphere appeared gaseous, primarily hues of pink and purple; however, they were not experiencing any problems in breathing.

"Greetings, Earthlings."

SG-1 turned to see someone that appeared human, in fact he rather looked like Leonard Nimoy of Star Trek fame.

Daniel as usual spoke first, "we are peaceful explorers. We wish to learn about your planet and your culture."

Mr. Spock-wanna-be raised his eyebrow and turned towards Jack, "is this so?"

"Ah, yeah."

There was no response so Jack continued, "I am Colonel Jack O'Neill and this is Major Carter, Dr. Jackson, and Teal'c. . . . . and you are?"

"Forgive my ill-manners, I am Pointed Ear, Under Commander Pointed Ear."

"Right . . . Under Commander Pointed Ear" Jack responded wondering if he was being set-up for a joke by someone, maybe Feretti?

"Is now when you ask me to take you to my leader?"

"Yes, it is, thank you," Daniel responded when Jack could only seem to stare at the man.

"Fascinating."

"Indeed," Teal'c agreed while poor Sam was still trying to make sense of everything.

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True to his word, Under Commander Pointed Ear transported them to what must have been their base of government. It was only about three klicks (kilometers) from the gate.

"Our Supreme Commander is eager to meet with you."

"Oh?" Jack responded.

"Yes, he has taken a personal interest in the development of our Earth survey project."

"Earth survey project?" The three humans echoed at the same time.

"Yes," Pointed Ear answered before starting to leave the group, clearly having no intention of saying more.

Daniel, more practical on the meet and greet aspect of missions, stopped Pointed Ear to ask him a question. "How do we address your leader?"

"You may call him the Big Giant Head."

Oh for crying out loud . . . .

As SG-1 entered they came face to face, or rather body to big giant face with the being they assumed to be the big Giant Head. It did look like a head, except that it was kind of purple and reminded Jack a little of the image of the wizard of Oz.

"Forgive me, I didn't get a chance to change before you arrived." 'Oz' said, before he blinked out and a human appeared, a human who looked like Admiral James T. Kirk.

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General Landry put the paper he was reading down there. Was Jack serious about this? He couldn't be. So, he stopped reading and flipped to the end of the report that lists the follow-up notes, sure that he would find a catch. 

* * *

As we promised the Big Giant Head, we followed up with his team on Earth. We didn't have to go far. When we got back from the mission, they were topside waiting for us. Knowing that the leader of the team was actually the Big Giant Head's son, we felt we had no choice but to allow them to remain on Earth without risking further diplomatic relations with our new allies. However, General Hammond and I agreed that they could not remain on Earth without monitoring. So we offered them positions here at the SGC based on the lives and experiences they had already established while on Earth over the last three years.

Their leader, known as Dr. Dick Solomon has fit well into the science department. Even if does remind some of the staff slightly, well quite a bit actually, of Dr. McKay. His security officer, Sally Solomon has been placed in training and has unofficially been adopted by the Marines. Their information officer, Tommy Solomon who is reported to be at least a century old despite his teenaged appearance was assigned to our research department and Dr. Jackson often sings his praises for the little know sources he finds for materials. The final member of their team, Harry Solomon, who served as their transmitter (don't ask) was also assigned based on his abilities.

Respectfully submitted,

Jack O'Neill, Col, USAF

_Landry looked at the notes again. He knew some of those names. Sally was certainly a wonder and was considered one of the best trainers in hand-to-hand combat. He had seen Tommy's name listed on many reports coming out of research, particularly projects initiated by Dr. Jackson. Dr. Dick Solomon was on attached service to Area 51 after Colonel Carter nearly had to be restrained from killing him, but all reports are that it would have been justifiable. However, he had never heard of this Harry._

_He was pulled from his thoughts by a knocking at the door. _

_"In."_

_A man entered wearing a brightly colored shirt with an odd expression on his face, "oh ho, ah, sir, I am here to - - that is I am here to ah - wait - I know this" He looked at his arm and read some writing on his sleeve. "It says here I am here to 'empty the basket.'"_

_So the man looked around the General's office and saw a fruit basket and proceeded to take the fruit from it and put it in his pockets._

_"Son, what do you think you are doing?"_

_"Empting your basket," he looked surprised that the General would even ask. "See it says right here 'empty the basket.' WAIT, my sleeve folded over it says something else here. 'Empty the waste basket.' Ohhh," he looked from the fruit basket to the waste basket. "Ohhhh, I emptied the wrong basket."_

_"It's okay, son. No harm done." He glanced at the man's name tag. 'Harry Solomon'._

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Hope some remembers this crazy show and enjoyed this story.

Thanks,  
Teri

Posted: November 28, 2007


End file.
